Forever the same
by thunderbird01
Summary: When things change for the worse the always get better, Right? Thats what Jesse thinks until Suze disappers and is presumed dead. Wrong, very wrong. I own only the plot
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

He gazed sadly almost longingly at the grave, the inscription all to fimilar. It read _Susannah Simon, May her soul foreverbe free._ She had been missing for over a year, last month she was presumed to be dead. And Jesse felt it was all his fault.

**Flashback**

**Jesse pov**

**"You can be so stubborn some times, Jesse," Susannah snapped.**

**" And your not?" I inquiered. **(note I'm not sure this is spelled right could someone tell me?)

**"Its so stupid," she threw her hands in the air." Why can't you understand things change? Its not the 1800s anymore." **

**"No, but I'm not changing so you'll have to deal with that." I met her glare for glare.**

**"Jesse the only reason I even look at Paul is so he won't hurt you. You have to understand." She sighed half turning away.**

**I cupped the side of her face gazing gently into her eyes. "Susannah, that boy is evil and every time he is near you I get the feeling he will try to hurt you. Please don't go near him."**

**"But if I don't want you to suffer because of me. Paul could kill you and you just came back. I'll be fine." **

**"What if you didn't have to worry about me?"**

**"I always will."**

**"No I mean if Slater thought we weren't togather he would have nothing to hang over your head. Then...then..." I trailed off stumped**

**"Are you breaking up with me?" Tears rolled down her pale skin glissening in the moonlight. The fact that she was crying because of me broke my heart.**

**"No, never. I would say a break to protect you from Slater." I pulled her close and never wanted to let go. This was so hard, having to as she said 'break up' with my Querida was painful.**

**She sighed, "your right, I guess." She pulled back, turning away so I couldn't see her tears, each one was a blow to my heart.**

**"Perhaps..." I mused. She met my gaze inquizetly. "Well Slater doesn't know about my roommate Alex. Perhaps, if we explain the situation he will pretend to be your boyfriend, atleast until we deal with Slater." I tried to hug her but she struggled.**

**"Jesse if we broke up we don't have any contact, meaning no hugs,no kisses, no nothing."She stared with a blank expression. "Goodbye Jesse." And she left, my world torn apart though it was partly my fault. **

**The next few weeks were rather nerve racking but uneventful, atleast until the sky came crashing down. Susannah went for coffee with CeeCee and Gina when I got an urgent call.**

**"Jesse!" CeeCee practictically screamed in my ear. "Its Suze! Someone...they kidnapped Suze. Get down here!"**

**"What! When? Why? I'll be there in a minute." I scrambled from my keys then drove like a maniac to the Coffee Clutch, already surronded by police officers.**

**"Excuse me sir." I approched one, "what happend?"**

**"You Mr. de Silva?" I nodded. "Ms. Webb told us to find you, apperently Ms. Simon left to use the restroom and was sexually hurassed by the kidnapper. By trying to defend herself , for reasons unknown, she was beaten then kidnapped. The comotion brought witnesses to the scene but unfortunetly noone got a good look the his face. All we found was this." The officer held a small golden braclet, some of the links formed letters that spelled Susannah's name, the first "S" was studed with emeralds.**

**"It was Susannah's."I told him "I gave it to her for her birthday." I kept my voice steady and the tears at bay. He nodded to his associate, who joted something down, then he handed it to me. I gripped it like my life depened on it and with my luck it would.**

**Over the next year I continued almost in a trace. Susannah, my light, my life, my whole world was gone. How could I live, how could I go on without her.**

**End flashback**

Siftingthe braclet in my hands I gazed at the headstone. My eyes fill with unshed tears, my empty hand closed. Wait, empty? I dropped to my knees and frectically searched for the only thing of Susannah's I have. Next to it was a small note_Jesse, meet me at our spot at 5:00. _

Glancing at my watch I noticed the it was ten til, so I headed for the beach and our spot. I had not been there since she disappered, it reminded me of her. A figure dressed in baggy jeans and a large sweatshirt turned to me and I gasped. It was...

**Ooo I'm evil right? well who is it? Or who do you think it is?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Jesse pov

"Susannah?" I questioned softly.

Her emerald green eyes focused on mine, gradually she smiled.

"Jesse," she bresthed. In one quick motion she threw her arms around my neck and cried. I was stunded for half a second but I rubbed her back speaking sothingly in Spanish and English.

"Querida your back, your back." I pulled her as close as I could before I spun both of us. She giggled in my ear the best sound I have heard in over a year.

"Jesse I'm back. I don't want to leave, don't let me go." Her eyes begged.

"Susannah..." My phone interupted my sentance. "Hello?"

"Jesse! Where are you?" Katie, a friend who wished I would date her, cried in my ear.

" The beach, why?"

"I need you come home. Please?"

"Alright Katie," I sighed. "I'll be there soon." I turned back to Susannah, who had moved form my side to the other side of the grove over looking the ocean, she was leaning against a tree, crying.

"Susannah? What is wrong?"

"I'm so stupid, to think you would wait for someone like me." She didn't face me, but I could read her anyway. She thought I moved on form her when she left. That I wouldn't care that she returned because I would have some new girl that Susannah would tell me everyone would date. She was appearently not one of these girl.

"Why would I not wait for you, Querida?"

"'Cause I'm stupid," She paused to look herself over, "ugly and all around repulsive." Again not meeting my eyes.

"Who tells you these lies?" Anger flares inside me. Susannah was the best, most beautiful young women I have ever met and someone tells her that noone can care for her and she beleives them.

"The man that took me. He said he was doing the world a favor, he's right you know."

"Susannah! Don't say such things, You arehe only one I could ever love. Why? Because you are beautiful, intelligent and the bravest young women I have ever met."

"You only love me because as a ghost noone else could see you. You had to take what you could get."

The hurt on my face was evident, that she really didn't think I can love her. That she would just leave and be doing me a favor, how wrong she is.

"Please don't leave me Susannah, I need you."

"I...I can't. Jesse you deserve someone better , someone who won't leave."

"Oh and you wanted to leave? To spend a year with a man that tries to kill you?" I snapped, okay so I was angery.

"No, but Jesse I'm sorry. You need better I can't even compare." She whispered her head hanging.

"No, Querida please don't leave me to die wtihout you."

She just sadly shook her head, but before turning to leave she softly kissed my cheek a solitary tear running down her pale face. She ran, but I desperetly wanted to tell her, we were ment to be. Whether now or later she will see, I'm not losing her that easy. Alas my heart said differently, it told me that she was gone for good, she had no reason to come back. For the second time my world ended but now I had no hope, Susannah was not coming back and I would never hear her voice or see her beautiful face again.

I broke down and cried, cried until morning came and my heart had died.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Jesse pov

I didn't get home until eight in the morning, and luckily I didn't have class so I just lay on the couch petting Spike thinking of nothing but Susannah and why she would leave. She still loved me I could tell by the way she looked at me, but then why leave?

I jumped as the phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Mr. de Silva?"

"Yes?" The voice made me anxoius.

"You are one of Ms. Simon's contacts. She's currently in surgery, she was hit by a car in town almost half an hour ago. We need you to come down to the Carmel City Hospital."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." I said hurriedly. Within seconds I was in the car on my way to the hospital, to Susannh. My heart quickened.

As I entered the lobby the secertary looked up.

"Susannah Simon" I gasped.

"Room 210" She replied.

I hurried down the maze of halls to her room. Her face was ashen, and she lay lifeless on the bed. My Susannah, my Querida was fighting for, by the looks of it, her life. I sat in a nearby chair, holding her hand, watching her beauitful but pale face. She was, I was told, in a coma. Possably for the rest of her life. I would wait by her side forever if she could just comeback to me. I brought her hand to my lips, kissing it softly. The fingers on her other hand twitched.

"Susannah? Please wake up." I whispered. "Please, don't leave. I love you. I leave if you want just don't die." Tears ran down my cheeks and dripped on the bed.

Again her fingers twitched. The hand I held tightened, and my heart swelled with hope. A slight moan excaped her soft pinkish lips. Her eyelids fluttered and my gaze was met by emerald green eyes.

A quiet raspy voice made my heart lurch."Jesse," Susannah whispered.

She squeezed my hand and tried her best to smile, I returned it halfheartedly. I knew she would stick to what she said and leave again, I couldn't handle that. Susannah looked at my face quizicly.

"Jesse? You okay?" Her eyes held fear.

"Your going to leave again aren't you?" I asked bluntly.

"Jesse," she touched my face, I flinched.

Her gaze turned to the bedspread. I dropped her hand and stood.

"Goodbye Quer- I mean Susannah."

Suze pov

He was leaving, I didn't blame him. I left too, but it still hurt like hell. My knees were curled against my body and because one arm was in a cast the other hooked up to machines I cried into my knees.Jesse was leaving to never be seen by me again.I lay on my side and cired softly until the darkness of sleep. consoomed me.


	4. Chapter 4

Next chapter for those who care (which is no many)

Chapter four

_Jesse pov_

I walked around Carmel for a few hours thinking of how heartless I was to Susannah, but I couldn't go through her leaving again. Stopping at a corner my cell phone rang, it was Katie.

"Jesse! You missed class, I was sooo worried. Are you alright? " Katie sounded like she cared, very unlike her.

"Katie I'm fine, a friend of mine is in the hospital. I skipped so I could make sure their alright." This I knew would be a long day full of Katie's calls.

"Well okay but don't skip again, class is sooo boring with out you, Love you Jesse! Bye." She hung up.

Why must she end every conversation by telling me she loved me? I have made it clear I don't have feelings for her but she insists. Shaking my head I slowly made my way back to the hospital, back to Susannah.

On the way I passed a small flower shop. I paused then entered to buy our flower, an orcid.(sp?)Maybe just maye she would forgive me for being a heartless jerk, then we could get back togather and i will never leave her again. Wishfull thinking.

I entered her room to find her curled on the bed tears stained her beautiful face, my heart sank. /she would never forgive me now, I had broken her heart and stomped it into the dust.Thus ruining my chances with her my Querida,my Susannah.

I set the flower on her bedside table, knelt by her bed and kissed her perhaps goodbye. She stirred moaned slightly and opened her emerald eyes.

"Jesse?" She whispered like I would disappear."I thought you left." She sniffled, because I had hurt her.

"I'm sorry Susannah,"I leaned down kissing her lips softly. "I'll never leave again, I loveyou too much." She smiled, put her hand behind my head pulling myu lips to hers in a gentle but passionate kiss. When we broke apart I slide her braclet onto her wrist, shifting my weight so I was kneeling on one knee.

"Susannah, Querida I don't have a ring but will you marry me?"

My Querida gapped at me, lips trying to form words but failing. "Susannah?" I miserably failed at hiding the note of fear.

Suddenly she brought her face close for a quick kiss and whispered on word. A word that shatered the world around me to make room for a new one.

"Yes."


	5. Chapter 5

sorry for not writing but my hard drive fried, literaly. So i had to "borrow" my dads laptop until it is fixed. now on with the story. 

chapter five

five months later Jesse pov My Querida agreed to marry me, I still think its a dream. right now she is sleeping on our bed, we live togather now. I finally got her to tell me what that, I can't even call him human, thing did to her. thank dios she is still a virgin.  
Susannah stirred," Jesse," she mummbled before pulling my chest closer.  
" I'm here Querida, I won't leave"  
Her eyes fluttered open, they shined like emeralds.  
" Jesse, I love you"  
"Te amo, Querida."

four months later wedding day

I paced in the small room, running my fingers through my hair. What if she changed her mind? Whatif she doesn't want me anymore? hopeless thoughts swirl in my mind.  
"you need to chill ricco," Paul said. He was my best man, we were friends since Susannah was taken.  
" but what if"  
" there is no what if. she loves you, so go marry her"  
Father dominic knocked and told me it was time to go. we followed him to the alter, and as I stared at the door the pianist started to play. the door opened and in came my Querida, stuning in her white gown, she seemed to glow, but not in a ghostlyt way.  
the whole world felt right today and I wanted it to last forever.

(im skiping the vows)

" you may now kiss the bride."

I kissed her gladly, she was mine now, truly mine. today was the begining of a whole new life.

Sorry its short peeps, i just didnt know what to write. Hope it doesn't suck


	6. Chapter 6

sorry its been so long I lost my ideas and just didn't feel like writing. so I've finally gotten the next chapter down. hope its doesn't suck too bad.

Chapter six

jesse pov

I awoke the next morning and rolled over to find a very empty bed were Susannah was supose to be. Confused I got up and made my way to the kitchen to find not my new wife, but my old roommate Alex making coffee.

Unable to contain myself I asked "Alex what are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Date didn't pan out last night."

"So you came here?" I asked.

"Well I do kinda live here." He said looking at me like I was crazy.

I shook my head. "Alex you moved out almost six months ago to stay with your girlfriend."

Alex laughed. "I wish I had a girlfriend. Are you sure your feeling alright?"

I sank into one of the chairs at the table and rested my head on its surface.

"I am so confused right now." I said.

Alex moved toward the phone. "I'm gonna call Suze, see if she can help."

I just nodded unable to process the information. Maybe Susannah could help sort it all out.

I didn't move until she got there, hovering over me like a worried mother, she would do well with children.

"how are youn feeling?" she asked.

"You weren't here this morning." I stated.

"Well of course not, you never let me stay the night. We're not married yet so it would be... what do you always say? 'immoral and wrong'"

My head snapped up at her comment.

"What did you say?" I choked you.

"immoral and wrong?"

I shook my head. "Before that, are we not married?"

Suddenly Susannah looked worried. "You wanted to wait until you had a solid job at the hospital."

" But we did... I do..." I put my head down again.

"What is the date?" I asked.

"July 8 2008. Why?"

my mind was going a mile a minute as things started to click. Today was the day. The day we broke up, before she got kidnapped. I could stop it, all of it.

When I raised my head again Susannah just watched me, the same worried expression. I had to explain.

"Last nigth I had a dream..." I told it all.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Susannah sat next to me, stunned.

"so I was gone for a year?"

I nodded. "I wanted to die without you."

Then she smiled. " So we'll stay together, no matter what."

I smiled at her before pulling her into a kiss. " On one condition," I got on one knee." Susannah, will you marry me?"

Tears filled her eyes as sha squeaked put a yes. this was my second chance and I wasn't going to lose a second of it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

the end of a long time of waiting. sorry im so slow. just needed one last twist to make me happy


End file.
